Summer Time

Megan was home for less than two weeks and she whisked off today to work at a summer camp. I was so looking forward to her being home. It was such an amazing thing that worked out, we just had to believe it was the Lord's leading. She went to her college last week to see about being a lifeguard. The class had already started and the teacher let her start late. She attended the lifeguarding class with the intent she would be a lifeguard there. She was even going to be able to have the class free since she agreed to work there. Friday night she got a text around midnight from her friend that a person had backed out of working the summer at the camp. She wanted to know if Megan was interested. Megan has always wanted to work at a camp and it has never worked out. She was thrilled and after three...count them...three attempts to fill out the online application, she sent it in Saturday night. I was about to just give up after all the problems we encountered with the online application. O me of little faith! Megan had applied at several different places and was going to give them a week before she went to see if ChickFilA would let her work the summer. She had the lifeguarding opportunity at the school and then this camp job came up. The camp director called her Sunday night at midnight for a phone interview. She was hired and allowed to come a few days later since it impossible for her to be there on Monday. Monday she got two calls for jobs. One was for a nanny position at 15 dollars an hour for 15 hours a week. The other was JC Penney. Megan was so stressed. Of course the camp job was more of a ministry opportunity than a moneymaking one. Her dad had told her that she needed to be making money to pay for her college and expenses. So now she had to make a decision to go to camp or to take these jobs. She had been so excited about going to the camp. Her dad graciously told her that she needed to do what she wanted to do. It wasn't all about the money. She isn't going to have the opportunity to work at a summer camp very many more times. She finally got a smile on her face and packed up her things for a summer away at camp. Oh and the job they needed her to do at camp....Lifeguard!! She did end up paying for her class since she wouldn't be working for the school, but how amazing is that!! I must admit I am sad to not have her home this summer. I was so looking forward to it. I know we raise our kids to be independent but I still like to spend time with them!! She just called a bit overwhelmed with everything and of course, her cell phone does not have coverage. So please keep Megan in your prayers if she comes to mind.

O My Son

I CANNOT GET THIS TO PUBLISH THE WAY IT LOOKS. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE SCRAMBLED VIEW OF IT. IN MY DRAFT IT IS VERY NICE AND WRITTEN IN POEM FASHION BUT IT WON'T PUBLISH LIKE THAT....STRANGE....I DO NOT REALLY LIKE THIS NEW BLOGGER TOO MUCH ;( When I was putting everything back in my closet I came across my journals. Each of my children have their own that I have written in since I found out their tiny little life was growing inside of me. I wrote in them monthly until they graduated high school and now I just write in them occassionally. I had written this poem in Matthew's three years ago. Sometimes I get discouraged and think that all the praying I did was to no avail. A friend's daughter got engaged this week to a great guy and she said she had prayed since she was a baby for her daughter's spouse. Well, I did the same and it doesn't appear my prayers were answered. I wonder why? Why didn't my prayers matter to God? I prayed for my children's spouses many times. I used to think somewhere in this big world is a little boy and two little girls that are going to grow up and marry my children. I prayed for their salvation, protection, and family. Sometimes I just feel like God doesn't hear my prayers at all. Then I remember that God gives free will. He doesn't force his way on anyone. My children make choices on their own. They choose to honor God with their choices or they choose to dishonor him. God doesn't make them choose right. He allows them the freedom to choose wrong. Along with the choosing wrong comes the consequences. My children know what God desires, it is up to them to choose God's way. Just as God doesn't force his will on us, so I will not force my will on my children. That is a very difficult place to be. I want to grab them and shake them and say STOP....think of the consequences of this choice....How must our Heavenly Father feel when he sees us making choices that are not in HIS best interest for us. How must He feel when we make a decision without even bringing it before Him. I continue to pray for my children's spouses. I am learning to leave it all in God's hands. He is in charge and will ultimately work out all things for His good. I am learning that I am to just "be still and know that I am God". Journal Entry March 2009 O MY SON I prayed for you every day While in my womb you did stay. I asked that you would serve the LORD And always stay within His Word. I wanted you to give your best No matter what the test. I prayed that you would stand alone Because Christ for your sin did atone. The years have swiftly flown From child to man you've grown. A bright young man of twenty-two Who thinks anything he can do. The world is at your feet Living it up is rather sweet. Still I pray for you everyday That foolish pride won't mar your way. Remember when we read Proverbs and Psalms Teaching us to flee the world and have no qualms. Remember when you were a small creature And loved to play the preacher. We learned that God alone is truth and love And Satan in his pride fell from above. Satan is a liar seeking to destroy In his hands we are nothing but a toy. To make us useless to God and others And break the heart's of our mothers. Still daily I pray for you That in all you say and do, You would very clearly see You must return to bended knee. I pray my son that you will realize The time has come to be wise. Judgement day comes to all On you I do not want doom to fall. Before God you will stand, my son, Will you hear him say "Well done"? True happiness and peace only comes when your heart is right with God. When your heart is right with God it will be right with others. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you...thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you an expected end. God has a plan for you. Don't settle for less than God's best for you life. I have prayed for your future wife since you were a small boy. I want her heart to be in tune with the heart of her Heavenly Father and in tune with yours. While I may think I know the perfect little picture and how it should look....I really don't. God can take ashes and turn them into beauty for his glory. Rededicate your life to the LORD. Make some decisions between Him and you. Know that your mama is behind you supporting you and loving you and praying for you!!

Are you a Stench or a Fragrance?

We had a mouse die in my closet wall. I had heard something scurrying around in there one morning and a few days later the smell was knock-you-over-drag-you-out....I told my husband I thought the critter in the wall must have died but he didn't think the smell would come through the wall....Let me tell you IT DID. He finally tore out the bottom half off the wall in my closet after I dragged everything out-with a mask on, I might add! The stench was just about unbearable. When you gag from odor, you know it is bad. It took over a week to try and get the smell gone. I used my air purifier on sanitize for many hours. I had some friends tell me about ODOBAN from Sam's but when I told my husband it was a gallon's worth, he said he wasn't buying that much for one dead mouse....OKAY!!!! whose closet is strung out all over the master bath and bedroom....anyhow, I researched and found coffee grounds would absorb the odor and a bowl of vinegar too. So for 24 hours I did the coffee grounds and then the next 24 hours I did the vinegar. I think it actually worked. Today I put my stuff back in the closet. When I was dealing with that horrific odor, it made me think of the verse that says something about a stench in God's nostrils. I couldn't remember what it was exactly so I looked it up. It is Isaiah 65:5 "Yet they say to each other, 'Don't come too close or you will defile me! I am holier than you!' These people are a stench in my nostrils, an acrid smell that never goes away." Wow, I didn't realize it was about people thinking they were better than others and separating themselves from those who don't measure up to their standards. I just was shocked. Do these people realize that even though they think they are so righteous and spiritual that they are just a wicked stench in the nostrils of God? I am sure they do not even know that verse exists...(so much for their spirituality)!! So then of course I looked up the verse about a pleasant fragrance to God. That is 2 Cor. 2:14 Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. When I think of a pleasant fragrance, I think of lilacs or roses. Something that is not overpowering, but gentle and sweet. After smelling that atrocious odor for a week and reading those verses, it really made me think about my life. Does my life bring a deadly stench or a pleasant fragrance to others and ultimately the nostrils of God? Am I allowing legalistic standards to make me a stench to those around me or am I allowing the fruit of the spirit flow through me producing a beautiful fragrance that draws others to Christ?

I Made It!

Whew!!! I finished up my 240 hour internship with the attorney's office downtown. This has been the craziest semester yet for me. I started the post office training in January which was 80 plus hours of training. That made me have to start my internship in the fourth week of school. Fortunately the department head and the attorney were willing to work with me at the last minute. I really enjoyed my time at the office. I had to park on the seventh, eighth, or ninth floor of the parking garage and a walk a couple of blocks to the office. That was an experience! I learned so much real life stuff. I was able to hear three Tenth District judges do a hearing on two cases. I went to the Supreme Court, the County Court, and the Federal Court to file cases and/ drop off paperwork to judges. I learned to file federal cases electronically. I did massive amounts of legal research. I went to arbitration hearings and meetings with the attorney. I drafted several legal documents. All in all it was a very good experience. There may be a job opportunity there later this year. That would be amazing if it all worked out to end up being employed there but we shall see. I only want to be where the Lord wants me to be. I have two weeks of classes left and I am done with this semester. Then I will just have two classes left to take. I am considering taking Criminal Law this summer leaving me an online course next fall. I really don't want to have two classes if I am going to be learning a new job. The post office job is going along great. I really didn't realize all that was entailed in running a post office. Of course, I thought that I would just be a window clerk. NO idea I would be in charge of the post office all by my little self. I have learned to sort the mail, and box it up, sell all the goodies that customers need, do customs forms, express mail, registered mail, certified mail, open up and close up the day...a bit more than I had thought I would be getting but it is good and for the most part I enjoy it. I still mess up a bit, but God was gracious in giving me a very nice boss!! SHe is so kind and patient. Megan will be coming home next week from school. I have missed that girl. She has just blossomed being away at college. I am truly happy for her. One of the things she really likes is getting to know all the foreign students. She was amazed at the number of students who are from all over the world. She has signed up for her classes in the fall. Now she is looking for a summer job. Michael has been honing his basketball and volleyball skills. He is considering playing on a summer volleyball league. He has really improved since taking volleyball at college this semester. He is trying to fatten himself up so he can go in the Air Force. They told him he was too skinny. So he has been eating fattening foods...he has gained about a pound a month in the past 8 months. Matthew has been going through a rough time. His wife decided to leave him. This is the second time she had moved out in the past year. I feel so sorry for her. I hope that some day she will be able to find true peace and joy. My prayers are with her for sure. Because of her two children from a previous marriage, the court ordered him out of the house so she could live there. We will miss those sweet boys. He feels homeless and really all out of sorts. His attorney doesn't seem to be doing to much to help him out. It is really a mess. He has been staying on his friends couch but that sure isn't a great place to be when you have been living out on your own since you were nineteen. I am praying that he will allow God to work in his life. I know that he is not responsible to me but to God, but I still see that little boy in him. I do love him dearly and pray for him daily. My sister is coming to the states...oh wait a minute she is in the states...coming down from Alaska....and wants me to tag along on her vacation with her to PA, KY, NC, and TN. We shall see if it works out. I think that would be so much fun, but kind of bittersweet since my kiddaddles are all grown up. Now that I have time to look at airline tickets and peruse the calendar, I will be making some decisions here shortly.

Hunger Games....Controlling Preachers....

Well, after hearing all the rage about Hunger Games I went and saw the movie today. I was rather appalled. The whole premise is a country who rebelled against their government was now being punished by having to sacrifice a teen boy and girl from their Districts. The Districts were impovershed places while the Capitol was one of wealth and luxury. The government had complete control over these people and even manipulated the Hunger Game. To see children killing children over selfishness just to survive themselves was rather nauseating. I came out of the theater saddened that our culture has lost what truly makes a good movie....the good winning over the evil.

On another note, the special speaker at church this morning was one of those types that manipulate you into walking the aisle. I so dislike the herd mentality that we Americans are duped into. First of all he told so many stories, you couldn't differentiate fact from fiction. Then he said that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were not thrown in the furnace but fell in....well according to my Bible they were "cast" in and fell down while they were in there coming up unbound with the Son of God with them....anyway.

He said the classic prayer for people to pray along with him for salvation and then of course wanted everyone who prayed that prayer to come forward....how many really were saved by repeating that prayer....salvation is NOT repeating a prayer. It is coming to a place where you know that your SIN has separated you from God and that there is nothing you can do to please Him except accept his death on the cross that he died FOR YOU and then choosing to live your life for CHRIST....then he said....

"If you plan on living for the LORD this week come down front to the altar". Well talk about forcing an altar call. If you don't go forward that means you aren't going to live for the LORD that week. I watched people go forward in droves and then as some realized they were the only ones left in their pew, they also went forward. Why do preachers think they have to shame people to come to the front? Does that preacher really think because the altar was full that these people were coming forward honestly to say they were living for the LORD? Could it be because they didn't want to be the only ones left in their pew?

God does not force us or manipulate us. He allows us free choice and free will to choose to honor or dishonor him. Preachers who manipulate should be ashamed of themselves. They remind me of controlling husbands who want things their way and will make sure it happens as they want it done. Love is giving the other person free choice. It would behoove pastors to learn to love their congregation and allow them to choose without manipulating a "wonderful response to the altar call".

Okay~ I am stepping off my soapbox now!

Very Good Reading!!

http://p.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/mar/29/hurt-was-week-was-obama-style/

Life......

I have been so crazy busy since November. I had orientation for my post office job that I had applied for in August. When I didn't hear anything I figured I didn't get hired. THen in October I had an interview and drug test and NOvember was the orientation. I was supposed to have 80 hours of training directly following that, but the post office put it off until January. The training started the very first day of my spring semester. That was a bit disconcerting. But I am getting ahead of myself.

I had taken four classes in the fall semester so I was very busy after Thanksgiving studying for finals. Studying paid off...got four A's. I was worried about two of the classes!!

Then the day after Christmas Megan, MIchael and I drove to NC to visit my brother's family. Mom and Dad came in from PA also. It was so good to spend time with them. The week went by way too fast. We stopped in Memphis on they way back and met our church college and career group that was on its way to Atlanta for Passion 2012. Megan hopped on the van with them the next morning and headed back east. She loved Passion and was very glad she had the opportunity to attend.

The day before my classes were to start I discovered that two of my classes had been cancelled. So I scrambled around trying to figure out my schedule. I ended up getting an internship with a city attorney in employment law. I got permission from the school director to start my internship class three weeks late because of my post office training. I completed my 80 hours of training and started working Saturdays. I fill in for the postmaster every SAturday and then on her days off whether that be sick or vacation days. Just a little job but just what I was looking for right now. IT is a bit overwhelming learning the post office and the paralegal stuff at the same time. I am taking one class right now. I was scheduled to start an 8 week class the end of March but I cancelled it today. I have more than enough going on right now. I wanted to be done this summer but it looks like I will probably wait until next fall. I only have two classes to finish my associates.

I am enjoying the internship. I have great attorneys that I work with in the office. They are all so nice and patient. THe support staff is a great group of gals too. I am learning so much that I will be able to put in my resume. I intern with two law students that have one year of law school left.

Megan went off to a university about an hour and a half from here. She is loving it and loves her independence. She has made many new friends and is looking forward to next fall already. She put her application in for a dorm with three other girls. She is very impressed with the conservatism of the college for being an university. The Baptist Student Union is very active there. She is going on a mission trip to Joplin over spring break to help rebuild. She was also asked if she was interested in being mentored in hopes of being part of the BSU leadership team next fall. She has learned so much in her weekly mentoring sesssion.

Michael is still working at CHick fil a and is attending college. His sister is trying to talk him into coming down to her school in the fall. Unfortunately his car is giving him fits. He just had to replace his engine and it is leaking oil again. He is not happy with that at all. He is taking it to the garage tomorrow. He loves to help out the volleyball teacher at school twice a week. He would like to find a new job at some point in time. He is kind of in limbo as to what to do with his life.

Matthew is doing well in his pipefitter's internship. He is really starting to feel good about hia job and having confidence in what he is learning. His journey man is actually my attorney's brother. What a strange coincidence! He is working on a website and blog about hunting and fishing.

Mark is still traveling all over the place. I think he is having a difficult time adjusting to me being so busy and not at his beck and call. He had had to adapt quite a bit. But I think it is good for him.

God has brought the most amazing gal into my life. She has been a godsend for sure. She has helped me in my spiritual journey so much. She has been my rock through some of the most difficult times of my life. I have learned so much from her steady faith and relationship to God. God has used her to teach me some tough lessons but I can see that God is healing my broken heart and spirit through her counseling. God is growing me and stretching me.

Life never turns out the way you think it will. I am learning that all the difficult junk I have had to deal with is God's way of molding and shaping me to bring Him glory. It has taken me so very long to understand that. I didn't want to have a difficult marriage. I didn't want to have kids that made unwise choices. I didn't want to have to get a job. I didn't want to lose friends. I didn't want to change churches. I didn't want my heart to be broken in a million pieces.

I can tell that God is working on my heart and showing me that I am not in charge. His plan is not my plan. What I think is terrible, is God's allowing it for his purposes that are way bigger than mine!!

I grew up being a person that judged others in all sorts of ways. I can say today that God has removed that critical spirit from me. God has allowed me to be able to accept people where they are no matter what. God has shown me that when the going gets rough, I just need to give my struggles to Him. He will gladly carry them. He has shown himself faithful to me so many times and I am so thankful that he has continued to love me through all my mistakes. I am so glad that He has brought people into my life that have shown me what truly living a spirit filled life is all about. It has been a time of refreshing and renewal for me.